i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
