Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
Just puked most of my soul out..
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
