i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Randomize
