My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Randomize
