Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
