hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
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