I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
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