then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
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