That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
