what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Randomize
