I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
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