it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
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He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
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I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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