White coat. Heels.
piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
Midget sex pt 2 tonight
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
I see more hoeing in ur future
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