friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
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