Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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