I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Randomize
