I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
