she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Randomize
