At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
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