I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Randomize
