C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Randomize
