Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
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