i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Randomize
