You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
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