You really coming over, don't trick.
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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