We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
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she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
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I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
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