I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
