i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
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