I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
Randomize
