Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
Randomize
