maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
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