Midget sex pt 2 tonight
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Randomize
