If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
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