How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
You made out with two different species that night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
Randomize