She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
