I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
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