yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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