For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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