Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
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