yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
he thought i was a dude.
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
You brought string cheese to the strip club
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Randomize
