I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize
