Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Randomize
