Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Randomize
