Im at strip club and am horny
i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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