i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
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