guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
Randomize
