Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Randomize
