she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
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