First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
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