I feel great
I just peed on a car
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
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well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
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I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
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