i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
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