DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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