Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
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