I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
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