I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Randomize
