I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
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