He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
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I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
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Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
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