he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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