This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
where are my eyebrows?
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
