Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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