Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
Randomize
