He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
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