Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Randomize
