My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
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