Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
Randomize
