I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
